


Woebegone Straw Man

by Serpensortia_parapluie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Flash Fic, Hatake Kakashi's birthday 2018, angsty, sorry I gave you sad weird stuff for your birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 22:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16004258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpensortia_parapluie/pseuds/Serpensortia_parapluie
Summary: Three loosely connected Hatake Kakashi-centric flash fics, done in honor of Hatake Kakashi's birthday.





	Woebegone Straw Man

**Author's Note:**

> Kakashi has been my number 1 fave since I got into Naruto, back in the dark ages of the late noughts. (oh gods it's been over a solid decade, what even) I finally got something done for his birthday! Also, ngl, these are a little weird, because I spent all day on my longer Naruto wips, trying to get something decent done and finally gave up, hopped in the shower, heard the three songs here on my playlist and was like, 'how about I just do some flash fic while listening to a song on repeat'? and knocked these out in about an hour.  
> I added the song for each part and how many times I listened to it while writing each section until I felt it was complete, just because.  
> They are complete as-is, and I kinda just glanced over them, but happy birthday Kakashi!  
> I do not own, nor am I affiliated with the owners of Naruto, the bands/artists Keaton Henson, Imagine Dragons, or Bastille, and I do not give my permission for my work to be shared on sites like Goodreads. Comments are appreciated, and can help my writing improve.

_**Death** _

_Charon_ by Keaton Henson

4 times

 

Kakashi has an intimate relationship with death. He’s a shinobi; all shinobi do.

Still, his is closer than most.

He’s been familiar with death since the day of his birth, when she came on silent feet to claim the final breath from his mother just as he drew his first.

She paid him a second, intimate and quiet home visit at the age of six, when he came home to find his disgraced father bleeding across the floor, death dealt by his own hand and called to himself as lovingly as could be.

She clung tightly to his narrow shoulders through the straits of the Third Shinobi War, whispering sweet words in his ear he didn’t have the time to decipher.

He almost forgot how close she was, for a time. With Minato as his sensei shining brightly before him and his two teammates solid and reliable beside him, he almost forgot. He remembered suddenly, with a sudden rockfall and a most painful gift. He never realized that She was not there for him and his loss; she had Iwa shinobi to collect, for death comes for every shinobi regardless of border lines or sides.

She surprised him with Rin, and he spent long, aching sleepless nights up after that wishing she’d visit him once again, but he never drew close enough to pull more than a glancing benediction from her lips pressed tight to his brow.

He fought her, when she came to take his sensei, his Hokage.

He did not win, and he lost Minato, Kushina, and all chance of contact with Naruto, and with them, himself.

He held tight to those he had left, but pretended not to, hoping maybe, just this once, she would spare him, if he pretended not to care for his kohai and his rival, not to see the scorn heaped upon his sensei’s son.

So far, it seemed to work.

_**Demons** _

_Demons_ by Imagine Dragons

1.5 times

 

Kakashi's always been a man haunted by his own demons. Choices he could have made better, connections he could have treasured more, sacrifices he could have made.

He’s a collection of coping mechanisms and deadly skills wrapped in a jounin jacket and topped with a porcelain mask or a bright orange book depending on which face he’s wearing, usually atoning for his sins in front of a stone dedicated to the dead.

He holds everyone at a distance, unwilling to allow anyone to get too close and be hurt by him again. He hurts everything he touches, unless his touch is meant to bring death. It’s where his skills lie, and the only good he can do is to follow his orders like a good hound of Konoha.

_**Flaws** _

_Flaws_ by Bastille

5 times

 

Kakashi wears his flaws proudly, and is obvious about them.

He’s lazy.

He’s late to everything, and irresponsible.

He’s rude.

He’s aloof.

He reads porn in public, in front of impressionable young children.

Well. Those are the flaws of Hatake Kakashi, jounin-sensei of Konoha. His flaws as Hound, ANBU captain, are different- and classified.

Those flaws hardly matter anymore, now do they? Instead, Kakashi uses his new flaws- tardiness, a lackadaisical attitude, and Icha Icha to paper over his other flaws that might show through and frighten the little children more than necessary.

A laid-back attitude to deliberately cover exactly how jumpy he can be, intentionally wringing out the iron in his spine and disguising how long he spends before each training session he spends checking for traps and double and triple checking that his cute little genin are who they seem to be.

An aloof demeanor and a book to hold in front of his face to help disguise how long it takes him to notice when his three little non-threats speak to him, because he was lost in a memory or scanning their surroundings for threats to his little chicks.

He’s been a shinobi for almost twice as long as they’ve been alive, and he’s just come off the longest stint in ANBU in the history of their village. He’s a mess of brindled deadly instincts, sharp weapons, and bitter regrets, and he shoves that down down down so as not to harm the poor little kids some fool thought he should take under his ragged wing.

(Kakashi's most bitterly regretted flaw? He keeps surviving and outliving the ones he loves.)

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact for this one:  
> The title is what it is because what it is basically reads, "Sad Kakashi."  
> And this is because I spent all day I was coherent enough to write whilst recovering from my first cold since high school working on my Inu Yasha/Naruto crossover, my Star Wars/Naruto crossover, my Sense8!inspired Naruto AU, my Naruto time travel, my ot3 Naruto nonsense, basically everything I have in progress at the moment that may or may not ever actually get finished and is Naruto-themed whether or not Kakashi is involved, and this sad bit of nothing is what feels finished to me, and I did it in under an hour. I am definitely poking fun at it in good humor.


End file.
